Breaking University
by NotAnOunceOfLogic
Summary: You think university is complicated? You've never met this lot; all of Sarah Jane's kids at Uni...Together...Universe beware


**[Dedicated to my favorite Theta-Beta: Desi]**

* * *

><p>At first it wasn't too odd at all. Clyde picked up some work on the weekends teaching kids to skateboard down at the park, and working down at one of the fast food shops. He claimed he was doing it for video games and 'all the cold chips I can eat!'<p>

Rani got a job working on Sundays and an hour after school on Wednesday and Thursday tutoring. She said, like Clyde, she was 'just in it for junk they won't buy me!'

Sarah Jane knew that to be a lie of course. Gita and Haresh confirmed Rani hadn't bought anything new that they'd noticed, and Clyde hadn't shown up in anything new or bragging about any new gamer scores.

Then it got to be a bit weird when conversations would stop short when she caught them on Skype with Luke. But when Gita mentioned the mobile bills showing a lot of calls to strange places she had to say something.

"What're you up to?" She asked the duo.

"Nothing." Clyde protested.

"We're not up to anything." Rani agreed.

"You've got jobs, but you're not spending anything. You're getting giant bills in calls to other countries," Sarah Jane ticked off another point, "And you're conspiring with Luke. What are you up to?"

Rani and Clyde shared a look, arguing back and forth with expressions before they turned back to her.

"It's for college." Rani said.

"I know you've got a fund set up." Sarah Jane countered, sitting in her computer chair and nailing them with the mum look of doom™. "Try again."

"Well, it's for college, but not in that way." Clyde said tentatively.

"Out with it."

"Luke doesn't like the dorms and we think it'd be more fun and Santiago agreed and well, Maria thinks it sounds great so-"

"What've you done?"

Then they uttered what would become the most chilling words the university could ever have imagined:

"We're saving money to share a flat."

* * *

><p>It honestly didn't sink in for their parents until they started packing. Then true horror dawned.<p>

Luke Smith, boy genius; Clyde Langer, Joker of the pack; Maria Jackson, mini-Sarah Jane; Rani Chandra, girl reporter and Santiago Jones, protester from birth, were going to be sharing a flat. At University.

When Sarah Jane had called the Brigadier to make sure they hadn't traveled into an alternate time line of sorts she just got more added to the 'don't let them go to University' pile.

"I'd love to say you have it bad, Sarah, but my eldest Grandchild is going to University as well. Oxford I believe, as is Benton's youngest son and if I recall correctly and at least one 'foreign exchange student'."

Foreign exchange students…Brigadier speak for 'Alien who's not deadly and just wanted to study on earth'.

She could sum up all her thoughts in two words that she would have washed the teens mouths out with soap for saying.

* * *

><p>Between the five teens they'd been able to find a small flat right next to the campus where many older (or richer) student's lived instead of commuting or living in the dorms.<p>

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Gita had worried.

"There are only three bedrooms." Haresh had shot glaring looks of fatherly protection at the boys.

"Not with Calamity Jane's kids!" Chrissie had whined.

Alan hadn't been able to articulate any thoughts, but did shoot off a quick message to Sarah Jane saying that he was happy they were her problem now.

Clyde's mum hadn't said much beyond general sniffles about her baby boy 'Going off to University!'

* * *

><p>There are only three bedrooms and two bathrooms in their flat. This strikes them as they're moving in boxes and sleeping bags (The furniture is still being figured out).<p>

The girls share a conspiring look and the biggest bedroom (the only one with a private bath) gains a sign saying "Girls only".

This leaves the boys to figure out who gets the single room. Santiago wins this one. Not because he's stronger (Clyde suggested they arm wrestle), or smarter (Luke said a chess match), but because he snores like a chainsaw and the pet parrot (That curses in 10 languages) never shuts up.

* * *

><p>They don't get furniture for over a week. They don't have enough money to really acquire anything yet (Luke is trying to do things on his own without asking mum for help, as are the rest) when a card arrives in the mail attached to a box. It's strangely decorated envelope addressed to "Smith, Luke" with a provision under "Ealing, UK" of "Earth, Solar system".<p>

Luke knows who it's from right away, but doesn't know why the Doctor would send him anything.

The card is congratulation on going to University and is in loopy swirls that show a girls handwriting. It's got nearly £2000 in it. Nearly being stressed because it takes them ages to count it, the bills are scattered between big and small (It honestly looks like someone dug through a couch cushion to find money), slightly crumpled and repressed and some of them are dated differently, one bill says '1973' and the next '2011'. It's signed though, 'Good Luck! the Doctor, Pond, Williams (Crossed out and replaced with: Other Pond) and Song'.

Maria teased him that it has a kiss mark on the card.

They become slightly scared to open the box when Santiago nudges it and it barks.

* * *

><p>Luke left K-9 with Sarah Jane, and realizes how good an idea that was when the box turned out to be a different model of a K-9 from the 51st.<p>

"CPU." Clyde read off the note attached, "Canine Puppy Unit. Couldn't it be something cooler? Like, I don't know, some sort of space glowing dog?"

It's the size of a Chihuahua puppy but otherwise a miniature of K-9 in looks. Personality however…

"Luke, thank god your back! It won't stop howling." Rani said ear buds in ears to block out the noise.

CPU is quickly understood to be as excitable as a Labrador puppy, as parent (or master) centric as a two year old child and programmed to accept anything Luke tells it as a command.

Within the week he's tattling on people to his master and yelling when they lie.

* * *

><p>Clyde and Luke get bunk beds after much pleading from Luke. Clyde allows it, but only if he gets the top bunk.<p>

Luke bounces around like a toddler for weeks happy about it and finding things to decorate his bunk with. After a week of giggling and DVD watching Clyde hangs curtains around the lower bunk to block out light

* * *

><p>Luke can't cook. He's inherited his cooking talent from his mother, no matter how much he protests that he can't have as they don't share genetics.<p>

Rani is slightly better, but still does end up burning things.

Santiago thinks 'cooking' should involve a fire and wooden bowls.

It's for good reason that Clyde and Maria do the cooking.

* * *

><p><em>"Are you eating balanced meals?" <em>Gita asked over the phone.

"Yes, mum." Rani replied digging through piles of laundry – clean and dirty – and a few blankets to find her book bag; they were balanced meals, they had to be when you were eating running in between classes or while studying.

_"Three square meals a day?"  
><em>

"Yes!" Pizza boxes and most take away came in cartons, which were square.

**"Untruth!" **CPU yipped,** "Dishonesty!"**

_"What was that?"  
><em>

"Nothing, mum." Rani nudged the dog and kept on searching.

_"Have you got plenty of grains?"  
><em>

Rani unearthed a half empty beer bottle with a look of disgust, "Yes."

**"Untruth! Dishonest—"  
><strong>

Rani dropped a blanket over CPU to quiet him.

_"What about veggies? Have you got plenty of leafy greens?"  
><em>

Rani pulled a small baggie out of the pile, rolled her eyes and stuffed it into Santiago's jeans, "Yeah, plenty of green leafy things, Santiago makes sure of that."

_"Alright then. I'll talk to you later, darling, your dad is getting tea on."  
><em>

"Ah, I'm starting to miss dad's cooking."

Rani hung up and stuck her mobile in her pocket. Minutes later she unearthed her book bag with a yell of triumph.

CPU had wiggled his way out from under the blanket, **"Dishonesty. Untruth!"  
><strong>

"Oh, who asked you?"

* * *

><p>About 2 months into their University stay there is a knock on the door of their flat late at night. They open it to find a girl standing there, duffle bag over her shoulder and backpack in hand. She has long dark brown curls that rest around her shoulders, brown eyes and a self assured grin as she greets them.<p>

"Hey, Luke, I'm stealing your couch."

Luke smiles, obviously recognizing the girl. "Okay!"

"Henry's being stubborn, he likes the dorms. I give him another two months max."

The girl is Danielle Lethbridge-Stewart, eldest child of Alistair Lethbridge-Stewart II. She's quite proud in her ability to poke holes in her father's rules for college as she was "Born not 10 months after he started thanks".

Her parents are still married and she finds it quite funny she has a brother 11 years her junior and one 16 years her junior.

She was introduced to Luke not long after Sarah Jane adopted him. The house had been invaded – metaphorically – by his mum's friends carting in things she'd need.  
>Uncle Alistair (As he'd been told to call him by the impressive man himself) had proclaimed that Luke had plenty of cousins if he ever needed backup, or to form a football team.<p>

* * *

><p>Danielle is right. By month 4 of them being in college Henry arrives on the doorstep looking quite put out.<p>

Henry Benton is the youngest child of one of Sarah Jane and the Brigadiers oldest friends.

He's short, shy and bumbling, but has a good heart and doesn't protest when they inform him he either gets the couch or has to share Santiago's room. Danielle has long since moved into the girls' room. As Luke said long before, Bunk beds are cool.

* * *

><p>Luke has a habit, a habit they blame fully on Maria and Sarah Jane as Clyde refuses to admit having anything to do with it, of grabbing hands when he's nervous or afraid.<p>

Luke also has no sense of what is actually 'cool' in the world and has no qualms about grabbing either genders hand in public. Clyde always feels like he's kicked a puppy when he pulls his hand away, so he gives up finally.

Santiago always just shrugs. Henry blushes brighter than an apple. Maria has no issues, she enabled this habit. Rani laughs. Danielle uses it as an excuse to drag him around.

This habit leads to their first time being bailed out of jail.

They hadn't intended to be out at midnight, but thanks to a late night studying and no one having done any shopping recently the seven had been forced to go out if they wanted to eat.

The only place they'd been able to find that was open was a little back alley pub called "The Drunken monkey".  
>Luke twitched nervously and grabbed Santiago's hand when he saw some of the people that walk in and out of the building. "Looks strange."<p>

"Sometime strange is good." Santiago told him.

Clyde sighed in resignation, "Well I'm starving. C'mon." And lead the way into the pub, Danielle not far behind him.

Of course things went downhill not long after they ordered at the bar. After all, would it be them if the luck they had was good all the time? Someone saw Luke holding Santiago's hand and took offence. Clyde was quick to defend his best friend.

No one would admit later who threw the first punch. They were relatively certain it had been Danielle, but no one would believe them if they said it.

Fists flew, things were broken and soon it was an all out mob.

* * *

><p>"Okay, is this a 'we did good' or a 'we should feel bad'?" Clyde asked standing in the middle of the room, only the 7 of them left standing in this pub wide brawl.<p>

"I don't know." Rani admitted.

"That was fun!" Danielle giggled.

"I should feel bad." Henry commented.

"We're going to be locked up for ages." Maria lamented.

"Go Venusian aikido!" Santiago bounced in place, "Grandma is going to be so proud."

Luke looked confused, "I think I might be expelled."

"That was brilliant! I haven't seen someone fight that well or win by that margin in ages!" the bartender exclaimed gaining their attention.

"You mean this is a regular occurrence?" Clyde looked less upset.

"Oh, at least twice a month." The Bartender agreed eagerly. "You should come back tomorrow, everyone will be bragging about how long they stood in this fight! Well, come sit down. No one calls the cops anymore in this neighbourhood; they know this pub too well. Sit down, have a drink and your meal – on the house! I've called, but they always take their time getting down here."

Clyde sighed, picked up a bar stool that didn't look too busted and sat down at the counter. "All I wanted was some food."

The bartender grinned placing the baskets on the counter. "Oh, but you've just won about a weeks' worth of beer and fried things for that performance.

* * *

><p>The police arrived a few minutes later along with several medics. Most were quickly bandaged up and hauled in, along with the seven.<p>

They were quickly separated from the rest and thrown into their own cell where a nurse came in to work on them.

Danielle ended up with a few Tylenol and an ice pack.

Henry gained bandages across his knuckles.

Clyde got an ice pack for his face, a bandage across his back and wrapped knuckles - he was currently cursing whoever had a pool cue.

Rani had been told she'd need a cast as she'd broken a few knuckles and a bone in her right hand. She'd used her non-dominate hand to smack the snickering Danielle.

Maria had gotten away with a few bruises, a few cuts and a very sore foot.

Santiago was bouncing around, both hands covered in some sort of clear paste to stop any irritation, his shirt was splattered in a bit of blood, but he was proudly proclaiming only a little of it was his; He'd gotten a split lip, a sore ear but was fine.

Luke had avoided most injury; He'd ducked 90% of blows and tried to land as few as he could but gave up being a pacifist when someone had hit Maria, so his hands were scuffed a bit as well.

They couldn't really call anyone. When asked who to call Danielle and Henry had refused their families while proclaiming something about the military.

Maria's dad was in America and her mum on vacation.

Rani's parents were an automatic no.

Clyde's mum probably couldn't afford to bail them all out.

Santiago's parents were in Brazil.

And none of them could face the look of disappointment that Sarah Jane would have.

They settled on a friend of the family.

* * *

><p>Martha looked on at the group in the cell, "Do I want to know?"<p>

"We won." Santiago proclaimed.

He was quickly shoved to the back and shut up.

"Please let us out?" Maria said sweetly.

Martha had patched up Rani's hand with a splint and told her to come in tomorrow for a real cast. She'd taken a look at Clyde's back, he'd gotten a few stitches and set straight as had Maria.

"I'm not giving you any pain pills; you can make do with Tylenol." She told them, "Idiots don't get pain meds." They'd refused to tell her what they were fighting about.

"No problem, we've got better pain mana-" Santiago was silenced by a hand over his mouth from Danielle.

"We can manage."

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>Clyde decided one day not long after their arrest that they need a team name.<p>

"Come on, we're like the golden trio!" Clyde cried.

"Only there are 5 of us." Luke pointed out.

"Hey, what are we? The neighbors?" Danielle protested.

"Okay so we're...The Super Seven?"

"We are so not going by anything related to that." Rani said.

"Oh, come on! We could have t-shirts!"

"No."

"Spectacular Septet?"

"No."

"...Stupendous Septuplets?"

"No!"

* * *

><p>Gita pays a visit unannounced one day. Rani distracts her while they franticly shove laundry, questionable items and the foreign exchange student into different closets.<p>

They have no choice, he can't blend in, they can't say fancy dress and there's no way out.

Gita stays for about an hour chatting, cleaning and nearly lecturing when she catches sight of beer bottles. Rani finally manages to drag her off to get lunch somewhere after much hints.

Luke ran to the closet and opened it quickly.

The Foreign exchange student (or Zeke as he's known on Earth) scowls at Luke. He's hanging upside down from the coat hook, wings crossed over his chest, blue eyes and hair nearly aflame with distaste.

"Next time you need to hide me I'd prefer it not be where you've also hidden your dirty clothing, Luke Smith."

"Be happy we didn't hide you with CPU." Clyde scoffed.

"Where did we hide CPU?"

A frantic search found CPU under the kitchen cupboard morosely trying to converse with the swiffer.

* * *

><p>The boys have bad ideas. They always have, always will have. Luke is generally smart enough not to act on them.<p>

Clyde can be talked out of his most times. But when you mix Clyde's ideas, Luke's intelligence, Santiago's disdain for rules with Henry's knowledge of all things military and add in Danielle egging them on and it's a recipe for disaster.

No one's quite sure who blew up the science wing. Fingers are pointed every which way but most signs point to Danielle and Luke, both of whom are stained bright purple for two weeks.

* * *

><p>They formed a rock band.<p>

Rani and Maria never get any sleep.

They set up instruments in Santiago's room and 'rock out' whenever they can.

It wouldn't be so bad, they could sing and they could play all right but…

"They're calling themselves the 'pantheon of discord'." Maria complained to Sarah Jane on Skype.

"After the Trickster?"

"Yes." Rani looked miserable, "I blame the Doctor."

"Well, that is weird…What's wrong, they can't sing?"

"No, they can sing. They don't play half bad either but…" Maria shared a look with Rani, both girls looking annoyed.

"But what?"

"Their best song to date? _'It's the men-men-men in Black / beware baby, we are back / you can run but you can't hide / all you aliens in disguise'_." Rani warbled out in an imitation of Clyde.

"I prefer, _'Rip apart my soul / like the Dalek Crucible / You left me oh so bitter / left me to explode / like a Slitheen in vinegar.'_" Maria sang.

Both girls paused and looked at Sarah Jane, near desperation in their eyes.

"Did you have to give into his request for a guitar!"

* * *

><p>They've blown up the science wing twice, lit their flat on fire three times, had two arrests, won two full bar brawls, taught the parrot 50 new words – not all of which are polite – foiled no less than five alien plots, gotten on the nerves of the foreign exchange student enough that Zeke threatened to become a 'humanitarian', used CPU to look up information they shouldn't have and formed a rock band; all in their first year of college.<p>

Sarah Jane isn't sure whether to be proud or annoyed by the group in all when they come back over the summer months.

She's proud of what they've accomplished, but did they really have to bring a tiny whining metal pup home?


End file.
